- Jul 21, 2024
It’s not you AND it’s not me
- Courtney Ashworth
But this is a break-up letter. I’m breaking up with the old paradigm. Saying 'no, thank you' to AI. Opting out of the algorithm. Dare I say, stepping back from social media and online marketing.
Don’t worry, if you enjoy receiving these newsletters, they are here to stay! And if you’re interested in updates on coaching and related offerings, community gatherings, and the farm project – all of that is here to stay, too!
But conducting business via social media no longer feels aligned with my mission.
Honestly this transition has been unfolding over the last several months, but it’s come time that this feels more like a break-up, and what better time to bring it to light than with this week's energy of the full moon in Capricorn?
And because I know I'm not alone and social media is a struggle for so many of us, I wanted to pull the back curtain on my thoughts and process with you. Maybe you get loads of value from social media, and if so, I am so happy for you. But if you're considering that might not be true, keep reading ...
Firstly when it comes to how I create and share ...
I have so enjoyed the growth I’ve experienced in my coaching business, in part due to marketing myself as a coach for moms via social media. I’ve convinced myself from watching other coaches that this was the path – claim a niche, build an audience, etc. I’m grateful for the way I was able to reach so many of you, and for YOU connecting me with your friends by resharing and engaging with my content. From the bottom of my heart, I hope everything I’ve shared has felt inspiring to my followers (hate this word). But I no longer believe this is serving me (or you).
I am not an influencer, or creator. Do I love to encourage and inspire others? It’s what I live for! I simply no longer believe social media is the best platform for doing so. I find myself longing for the way things used to be, when social media was a foundation for real connections versus playing a game to reach more people.
As I’ve shared with you recently, I’m digging more into intimate connections. And marketing myself in the short form, catchy, sparkly clean content we’ve grown accustomed to on social media just doesn’t align with any other corner of my business or personal life.
When I shared this decision with my husband, he was 100% on board. He’s personally not a big social media guy to begin with, so he wasn’t hard to convince. But I was surprised when he told me he also doesn’t want to market our farm over social media either!
What?! Our brand new farm will not get a social media spotlight? But are you even a millennial homesteader if you aren’t telling the internet all about it? How crazy?!
In all seriousness, I know what the next question is here. How will we run either business without marketing ourselves on social media? Well, the truth is, I don’t know yet. But I have ample faith in the spirit of our family, behind everything we do, to know it’ll all work out.
And just as I share this mantra with other mamas: “what’s best for me, is best for my family” - my dear friend and business coach, Emily Nachazel taught me, this is also true with our work: what is best for me is what’s best for my business.
Perhaps even more importantly than shifting how I conduct business, create, and share online – I’m following a whisper to shift how I consume media.
The state of our world combined with the algorithm has increasingly changed my feed to one that no longer feels kind, generous, or loving to my nervous system.
I no longer consume fast food to protect my gut, why would I bog my system down with fast media?
As I lean more into my calling in motherhood to cultivate a slow family life, I find it necessary to be intentional with my energy and the margins of my limited time. And not only for my own time management, but also for the behavior I’m modeling. If I want my babies to value boredom and creativity without needing a screen, I need to lead by example.
I could go on for days talking about this, but if you’re also considering a shift in your relationship with social media, here are some of the most convicting reasons for me:
Meta has become increasingly extractive, and I no longer feel comfortable with contributing and participating in the monetization of my attention.
I'm honestly exhausted from the incessant information overload. I have a love for learning, and I've connected with so many teachers and resources over these apps - but I've come to realize that I learn better when I have more time to sit and focus versus trying to absorb from a fire hydrant.
The infiltration of AI combined with sketchy policy (down to using our camera to watch our eyes track across the screen, and stealing our words and images to become even more powerful) is not a world I want to play in.
As adorable as my babies are, I want to resist the urge to interrupt their play to get the perfect shots. I want to avoid holding their childhood through photographing, filtering, documenting, and curating, or for this to be the frame through which I spend these precious motherhood years. I don’t want my children remembering me with a phone in my hand.
I’ve witnessed firsthand the outcome of early exposure to tech in my older stepchildren – they themselves have told me they have mixed feelings using it and struggle with reality and boundaries. I don’t know when I’ll be ready to allow my own children to have SM accounts of their own, and when they inevitably begin asking, I want to feel congruent in sharing our family values around it.
Here is what I’m doing now:
I’ve switched my account from entrepreneur to personal
Updated my settings to private
I am a wife and mom first, and soulful business owner second. My social media account will reflect this and primarily consist of sharing what I find lovely in life as I feel inspired, and to keep in touch with real people I know and love, and I may occasionally share offerings or business updates.
Unfollowed and unsubscribed from any accounts I don’t know or find deep value from
Removed the apps from my phone and intend to check in over my laptop as I feel called, which requires a bit extra intention versus clicking or scrolling out of habit, boredom, or distraction ... and it requires a bit of extra trust in my business to thrive without showing up all the time.
Finally, if you're also feeling a shift in your relationship with social media and need some additional encouragement, here are some excellent resources:
I have no idea if this is forever, but right now, this feels like a huge weight to put down. If you've read this far, I genuinely hope you find this inspiring to reflect for yourself and review your relationships with technology and social media (or perhaps there is another relationship you need to let go of). Sending you big hugs as you navigate whatever this full moon is illuminating for you, and the relationships that are begging for review as we close out summer and begin to approach the new (school) year ahead.
xoxo
Court
PS. I would so love if you would share this with the first friend you think of who needs to read this to feel encouraged today. And if you're new here, you can head here to receive access to my FREE Calm with Court course and subscribe to my newsletter.